


i hate loving

by alybean



Category: No Fandom
Genre: #love #heartbreak #onesidedlove #feelings #emotions #poetry #anxiety #sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-16 09:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alybean/pseuds/alybean
Summary: when you don’t want to fall in love again, and then grow attached to someone who doesn’t/won’t love you back.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	i hate loving

i hate loving.

my emotions have never been well controlled.  
i cling onto the only solid emotion i can hold.  
they tend to spiral and slip out of my grasp.  
still, even then, i hide it behind my mask.  
my facade, my beautiful illusion, my trick,  
when i actually reveal my feelings, they like to make me sick.  
especially love, love is my tempting poison.  
again i fall into the empty void and  
destroy myself, make me hate myself,  
i despise my feelings and beg for help.  
the pounding of my heart is replaced by the pounding of my head,  
the butterflies in my stomach are now dead with vines and dread,  
the happy thought of love now has a negative connotation.  
from love i wish i could stop, take a break, end my desperation,  
but i had to fall again.  
i had to meet you and  
couldn’t help but be attracted  
by your talk, your smile, your actions.  
and although i know you’ll never love me back,  
i’ll be here, waiting for you, and waiting for reality to hit me with a smack.


End file.
